Join The Walters and their special guests on this episode of From The Walters' Couch (the first guests to actually be sitting on the couch) as we continue to kick off Season 2 of the Truths and Promises podcast.
You may recognize the last name of our guests, and yes, you are right! We have Shekinah's parents with us talking about key lessons they've learned over their 35 years of marriage.
Whether you are currently married, engaged, or single, there is wisdom overflowing that you don't want to miss!
Visit our Podcast page to listen online, Google Podcast Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.
Show Notes:
Get Connected with Gregory & Stephanie Fashaw
Get Caught Up with Season 2 Episode 2: Preview
The Walters's Couch w/The Fashaws - Transcription
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Shekinah: Hey, y'all and welcome to today's episode and this is another installment of From The Walters' Couch and today we have with us The Fashaws, my lovely parents.
Justin: Welcome to the couch, The Walters' couch. It's good to be here today and we have my in-laws, lovely in-laws here with us today.
Mr. Fashaw: I like that. Lovely.
Justin: They're amazing people. They're a blessing to our lives. Glad to have this conversation.
Shekinah: And as always, while we're on the couch, diamond is somewhere walking around this house. So please pardon her if she's making too much noise or she randomly starts barking at some point.
Justin: She might bark, one or two times.
Mr. Fashaw: She's a part of the family now.
Shekinah: She is, she's a part of the Walters 'couch.
So welcome to our couch. Y'all happy that you all could be here in person, you all are first guest on our couch, in person.
Mrs. Fashaw: Thank you. Glad to be here.
Shekinah: So we're happy to have y'all here. We want to just start out by letting the people know who you are. So if you could just tell us your name, where you're from, where you live, what you do, what you've done. I know y'all are enjoying retirement.
Mr. Fashaw: So by the way, you have a lovely couch.
Shekinah: Thank you, Justin picked it out.
Justin: Yeah, I picked it out and I just spray it with Febreeze.
Mr. Fashaw: It's nothing like having a couch like this. A couch like this makes you lazy. It's nothin' like having a lazy man. Being retired, being retired. That's one of the things that my wife has to fight against to make sure, 'honey, come on, you got to move, make it happen now.' I hear those vocals from her all the time. She's like, "what are you going to do today? Set things in order. Let's go." I said, okay, we'll get it done.
Mrs. Fashaw: That's right.
Shekinah: Okay. So tell us, who are you, where are you from? What do you do?
Justin: Tell us all the goods.
Mr. Fashaw: Okay. Honey, would you like to go first?
Mrs. Fashaw: Well, first I'm Evie Stephanie Fashaw.
Shekinah: Give the whole government name.
Mrs. Fashaw: AKA Stephanie, Prophetess Stephanie. I'm a member of His Touch Restoration Training Center, co-pastoring with my husband, Dr. Gio Fashaw. Also I'm a native of Florida. It's where our daughter was birthed, Boca Raton, Florida.
Mr. Fashaw: Honey, say it like, you know, you would say sometime, doctor what... Dr. Fashaw.
Mrs. Fashaw: Dr. Fashaw.
Mr. Fashaw: I just get a kick out of that, everyone. I just love my wife. As you all, I'm telling you are in for a thrill today. It's going to be exciting. You're going to love it. Listen, just give me a second to beat. Get myself together. Oh, who am I? I am Gregory L. Fashaw. I would love for you to call me GL when you can, but listen, I'm an alumni of PBA. And I also was at Florida A&M University. Had opportunities to study a little theology and social working, and I'm just enjoying life now. I am retired and but really, can I tell you the truth? I'm not retired, I just got started. And so we're doing you know, we flip home.
We dib and dab in real estate here and there. We doing a look crypto. Hello, everyone. You better come into the crypto world. Crypto is making millionaires. Do you hear me? And so I'm really, I love marriage. Marriage is one of the greatest things that happened to me. I didn't know I was going to get married.
You know, I met my wife and I think it was about seven days. How many days was it? Seven, eight days. Eight days. I always say seven. She says eight. So we put it together and I proposed to her in eight days. Listen, someone out there, listen, don't be afraid. It can happen. In eight days. I proposed to her.
Because I knew in my heart, she was the one I was praying. And right around the time I, you know, right around the time honey, when I proposed to you, I was literally getting ready to go get this ring, you know, this ring and pretend that I was married at the time I was coming on different platforms, preaching, sharing the gospel, going out evangelizing. It was just fun, but you know, I'll save some for later.
I would like to say, Shekinah, you are one of the greatest daughters anyone can ever have.
Shekinah: I'm the only daughter that you have
Mr. Fashaw: Can I say one more thing? Justin.
Justin: Yes.
Mr. Fashaw: You are really growing. Since the time I met you, you have matured so much. I remember you just sitting there and it's like, you had no words. Now, it's like, I can't listen. I can't come in the door without you saying anything. This guy is so wise and he is an engineer and all that good stuff.
I really love this couple. If I had to pattern my marriage, I would look at Shekinah and Justin and say, man, they're doing it the right way. So I want to say hats off to you guys and make sure you keep getting that honey out of the rock and it's going to work for you. Okay. That's enough about me guys.
Shekinah: Okay, cool. So these are my parents, and I'm happy ya'll can meet them. I think I want to start off. Should we do marriage advice? Best relationship advice?
What is, you know, one valuable piece or you could give us a couple of valuable pieces of marriage or just general relationship advice for those listeners that aren't married yet?
Mr. Fashaw: I would, the first thing that I will sit in a marriage after being married for 35 years.
Shekinah: Let me just note that he's looking at my mom for confirmation, obviously 35 years. Yes. 35 years.
Mr. Fashaw: 35 years. We have it right. Everybody clap. Yay. Yay.
Justin: Valentine's Day is next week. You got to get it right.
Mr. Fashaw: Yes. And so 35 years of marriage, the thing that is what comes up, that I, what I had to learn, I. I was to shape and mold her into the woman that I wanted to see.
And so on what the Lord began to train me was that through prayer, through listening, you know, through bumps and everything, and she kind of got the rough side of it. And I just had finally laid back and allowed her to be the woman God designed her to be. And instead of me molding her, shaping her. I thought being a wonderful wife, a great woman, with a man was that she was to think like me. One of the things that you can do wrong is try to get your spouse to think like you.
Justin: Right.
Mr. Fashaw: In the moment you do that. And you begin to go down that trail where you want your spouse to think like you. Can I promise you, you will need a time out pill.
A time out pill means that you need to chill, relax, because it's going to be frustrating. I don't care how much you want your spouse to think like you, it is not going to work. How can a woman think like a man anyhow? I don't know how.
Justin: I mean they have a book. It doesn't work.
Mr. Fashaw: So and so that will be the first thing I would bring to the table. Give yourself time, space, and, and the qualities that you're looking for one another, because you know what time you get married and you're just at that altar, you know, he's that shining what? The man is, the shining what? Come on guys. He's your shining armor.
He's your shining knight. Yes. He's like, he's your dream. Like, oh my God, this is happening. I'm at the alter and he's getting married and you just expect everything to be like so beautiful. And then when you get into the home and you find out he doesn't do things and you're like, wow. Then you begin to say, well, how marriage is really building two people who are, who may do things differently. Where they have to compromise. So you will have to compromise in order for your marriage to blend in. And once it start blending, it be just like a rainbow. There's a golden pot at the end of it. Trust me. For 35 years. I can say I have a pot of gold over here.
Mrs. Fashaw: Glory to God. My advice to women would be know that you are a wise woman. Know that you're the rib that comes from a man side. Don't ever feel inferior that he won't listen because he will listen to every soft tone that you've spoken. I think about Abigail and Nabal. So many times we focus on Nabal, how foolish he was.
Mr. Fashaw: Do we really have to bring Nabal in this?
Mrs. Fashaw: Peace out. We're thinking about Abigail, what a wise woman she was to cover her husband. Wow. So in everything that we do as women, we take back. I found out that as I listen. And 'so, okay, Lord, what would you like me to do?' And God will give you the answer. Holy Spirit speaks to you every time. No, I'm not just saying Bible Bible, Bible, but it is what has worked for me.
Truly worked for me. To be a listening ear. Men want someone to listen.
Justin: Yeah, I think so. I would agree. I think you know, through life or like through the day, sometimes you just want to have somebody to just listen to your thoughts and like what's in your head and not really, you know, I'll tell you what to do or how to do it, but just say, 'Hey, this is how I'm feeling' and just, you know, confide in what your feelings about the day.
And I think you do that now. I think that's good.
Mr. Fashaw: And then another thing is to enjoy. It's not, you know, a lot of times with us, it was always like, you would think it's a place of correction when there's an easier way and a better way, because the way you've been doing it so long doesn't mean that it is the best way or is the way of excellence for you two. So a lot of times we, we can easily pattern our relationship from the marriages or the homes that we come from and grew up in and that's you know, like the old American way, the old traditional way. And you know, but who said it was the, that was the way for every marriage. So we have to take time and find out, you know, the pressure points, what really, what really bothers her.
That's what I need to know, what really moves her. That's what I need to know, what will bring the best out. So guest what, I'm looking for my wife to treat me like a king. Well, how can I get her to treat me like a king when I just say, would you just move over here? And then I could have easily said, honey, it would really help me if you move over here.
So your language, so don't make a person believe that they must think like you and know what you're thinking. And then don't have the voice tones. You've got to begin to learn to be an artist in your language with each other, because it will pull out the sweetest honey and everything. You know, if you just have the right words and have the right things to say, you can get a woman to do anything for you.
And then, you know, when she, when you find out there's a certain time, I need you to call me over, like for you to call me. Fit right in there. That's easy. Hey, how you doing, honey? How are things going? She hear that. When you come home, you was like, man, you have a desire for a cake or something sweet or something. And before you know it, you didn't even ask her and she already had it. How does that work? I don't know. That's God's business with married people.
Justin: So would you say that, you know, through relationship and through marriage, those things come out through like time and being in a marriage and understanding your partner's thoughts and what they need for you to move and progress in your marriage. Right? Because I think when me in Shekinah got married, first off, it was like, you know, we moved in together and then there's things that I did that may annoy her and things that she did that may annoy me, right? You kind of live how you figure out how to, you know, live in one space and like what makes it work.
So do you think that comes with like time and patience with your partner, with your wife?
Mrs. Fashaw: I believe it comes with time and patience as well, but then it comes with the conversation. You have your daily, you know, nothing that lasts two hours or three hours, but daily you talk about was your day good? How did it go? Were you satisfied with how I treated you? I was satisfied with how you treated me or I wasn't, whatever the case may be. It's just good to communicate. It truly is.
Mr. Fashaw: You hit that on the head, communications is so unique and then you need to understand how your spouse communicates and what avenues they communicate in. Cause you really desire to meet that need, you know, you desire to meet that need of, of your spouse.
Yes. And so Shekinah, I have a question for you. If I can ask you a question.
Shekinah: Sure.
Mr. Fashaw: You still love me.
Shekinah: Yes.
Mr. Fashaw: Okay, good. That's all.
Shekinah: This is literally almost weekly occurrence where he calls me and it's just like, I'm just calling to see. So you could tell me something and I'm just like, well, what do you think I should tell you?
That you love me. So this is just the thing that is consistent, as a part of our relationship. I want to go back to the beginning where you started talking about how you all met seven days, eight days is still up for debate. Got engaged. Got married four months later, still married 35 years later. And I want to know what made you all get married so fast, so soon, with that quickness, like what made you know that you were... yep, this is it.
"Yup this is it." That's a good summary.
Mrs. Fashaw: Well, along with the Lord speaking and showing, because as he asked me one night, "Do I think I can marry a person like him." I said, 'sure.' You're in The Word, you love the Lord, you have a job, you know, do you know how to treat your . So therefore, you know how to treat a wife?
Those sorts of things. So after he asked me to marry him on the eighth day after I met him.
Mr. Fashaw: New beginnings.
Mrs. Fashaw: Yes. Then we talked and it could have been like while he was on deputy duty, one Thursday night. He said to me that after he proposed on a Monday on Thursday night, well, when do you think we should get married. Ask the Lord and see. I later found out he had a timeframe.
He didn't have a date, but a timeframe. So as the Lord showed me this vision of a desk calendar, small desk calendar, and I was flipping the page and the hand of the Lord would flip it back. I would flip the page again and the wind would flip it back. And then I flipped again. I'm like Lord, but this is not a year.
The Lord said and showed me on the calendar December 12th. The date you're to get married is Friday, December 12th and it was 19, not 1987, it was 1986. So therefore we, we got married in four months. We just planned a wedding. So God truly spoke and according to him, it was a confirmation to his desires and what he asked the Lord, he wanted to get married this year.
He didn't want to wait until next year.
Mr. Fashaw: Wow. I remember that day. I was literally trying to back out. She didn't know that, but I knew she did not know when we needed to get married and things of that nature. And and I knew it was in December. And so when she looked at the calendar and everything, and I said, if she can't answer this, I say, this would be my way out.
I will spend quality time in person. I, but I'm a believer and I believe the Lord will direct that pear and that God can literally speak to us. Yes. No. Or God just conveyed to us what we should do. So without going into the depth of, of that, I just knew I had an apostle that I was sitting under and I would travel from Delray to Miami.
And from Delray to Miami, then I would go and spent quality time at ministry in Miami almost all day and come back. But then there was something unique the pastor, apostle saw, and he pulled me in the office and said, "Yo, man, what are you going to do?" I say, I'm getting ready to do ministry full time. I'm going to evangelize. And it's like, I'm going to bring the world to Christ. He looked at me and said, young man, before you go out trying to bring the world to Christ, get you a wife. He said that. And I said 'what?' I was so broken. I just knew he was going to lay hands on me. This fire was going to hit me and the annointing that he was going to send me out and I was going to go evangelize.
I just saw folks getting saved, delivered, healed, man. And it's just crazy, you know, that part of my life. And so, but then he just bust my bubble, slowed me down and says, it's not like that. He say, if you go out and young man, where you just coming from college and everything. And then you said, there's so many wolves out there, say them ladies will try to eat you alive. Get you a wife.
And so he says, so then when you get your wife, this is when you come back in here, then I will ordain and, and work with you and help train you. And so after that next Sunday, between next Sunday and a couple of weeks, I missed that Sunday then, and I came back. I said, okay, I knew I was going to have a wife.
And so I went to one of the services at Macedonia, this church in Boca Raton. But guess what? Let's make a real short. I was invited by her sister, Sabrina. I was fasting and it was on a Wednesday. That Wednesday, I was on a three day fast and on a three-day of fasting, I was praying I had to go to the store called Winn-Dixie.
Some people probably don't know cause Winn-Dixie is kind of like fading away, you know, if you know Aldi's and stuff like that. So it was a shop. So when I went there, Sabrina was working behind the counter or in the deli, and she said, Greg Fashaw and she went to scream cause we went to high school together and her husband was one of my best friends.
And so I said, wow, Sabrina. Then she like, wow, I heard you preachin' and all that. Cause I, when I went in, I was singing hallelujah songs and she looked up and saw me and said, wow. She said, I want you to come preach for me. And that's how it happened. So I went to the church that Sunday and I met your lovely mother. And so when she came in there, I did not know who she was, because Sabrina showed me a picture of her sister, Stephanie.
Mrs. Fashaw: That was not so favorable.
Mr. Fashaw: That picture looks like I'm like, well, who is that? It looked like who was the, you know how sometimes you can just have a bad picture. Yeah. Well, her sister was walking around with this bad picture. I couldn't understand why. So she, so say this, my sister say she runs the program. I said, okay. So I was looking for her sister in church and couldn't find her. And then she pops up and she's the one facilitating the program. I said, 'that's her sister?'
So it was just shocking. But then, so I began to sit there and pray in the spirit and I prayed and I prayed and I said, and then I began to listen to her. And what happened was I was able to hear the heartbeat of God. I was able to hear the voice of God through her voice and I'm meaning she was connected.
She was connecting with the Lord. I'm like, wow, that's awesome. And I said, and I look, and it wasn't the beauty or nothing like that. It was just, my heart went out and touch and I made connection with her spirit and I said, okay, I can marry this lady right here. That was the first one, the first day. I said, Lord, I can marry this lady.
Right here. And she has good faith. She's in the house of the Lord. And and I started praying and I started praying and I said, okay, Lord, we'll see. So for three days I prayed. Three days. You know, I used to play three hours. And so I spent about nine hours crying out to God talking about her. And so then God kinda like gave me a sign. Let me know that I could propose to her and everything. I tried to invite her to a Bible study and then we ended up at Bible study from Bible study. Then we went to a all night prayer meeting and everything. Yes. Yes. Bible study was the first date.
Mrs. Fashaw: I invited him to my ladies Bible study that Friday night.
Shekinah: Why? Because you want to introduce him to one of your friends?
Mr. Fashaw: She did
Mrs. Fashaw: That was at church, but I invited him before he proposed. I invited him that Friday night to my girls Bible study that we had every Friday night. It was so awesome. So anointed. Prophetic word came that I would have a husband. God is sending me a husband. I'm like, okay. And that same night he invited me to Fort Lauderdale to his midnight prayer.
So we were in Bible study and prayer from like 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM the next morning, since it was all night.
So in that, in that meeting, Apostle Shelley Ball came to me and she prophesied that the Lord has given me a husband. Wow. Giving me my heart's desire. And by the time she finished prophesies, she says that brother Greg the Lord is talking about? I said, I don't know. I don't know Lord, what's going on? Because I had a dream and I, you know, nobody wants to walk in lust. And that Thursday morning, I had a dream that I was having a baby and didn't want nobody's baby, but Greg Fashaw. My sister woke up from a dream and said, Steph, I had a baby in a stroller, a baby boy. And you had a baby boy in a stroller. And I just scratch my head. I say, hold that thought, I'm on my way to work.
And I finished getting dressed and I just went down the road praying and like, Lord, cleanse my heart, purify me. I don't want lust the body with me.
Shekinah: And see it's amazing that's how confirmation works. The story that pops in my head is when Mary ran to Elizabeth and Elizabeth was the confirmation as the baby leaked inside of her, that the savior was inside of Mary and so it's you know, I often look to that story because along that story, Mary, you know, was fearful and the angel had to tell her don't be fearful. And there were just so many confirmations that happen to bring it all, to pass.
Mrs. Fashaw: Mary fearfulness. She wasn't married yet. So Joseph had to cover her in a whole nother way.
Shekinah: Mary was out here pregnant and Joseph was like, 'alright, I don't think I can do this one' and God really just had to intervene there and that's how we got our Savior. So it's amazing how God brings those confirmations. Now, let me ask you all because I think that story is absolutely amazing. Right. And I think for a very long time, I thought I was going to be able to beat y'all seven, eight days. And I thought. I didn't even try no, stop it. I used a different approach with you.
Mrs. Fashaw: Could you imagine being married and just before the PhD and seeing what you were going through. The like, okay, God, where are you? Come help me here.
Shekinah: Yeah. So that's really, my question is for those, cause there are still people who are meeting folks and in four months, getting engaged, six months, getting again a year, getting married after just having started dating.
And many of them, really may be hearing the voice of God they may have all of these confirmations, but even with God, I know that is still a process. So I want to get at, you know, what advice do you specifically have for those couples that barely know each other and are about to get married or about to get engaged.
Mrs. Fashaw: I believe that you fast, you pray, you seek Godly counsel, because even with Moses and Hoabad in the wilderness, God gave Moses direction, but he still wanted someone who knew the wilderness to stay with him. So as a young lady, when I left church that Sunday, I went home to call my prayer partner and tell her I met you a husband.
She in turn told me, that's my husband. I'm like, whew, it's just Jesus and I and I'm not thinking about a man, but nevertheless, in all of that, when God spoke, I still sought the Lord. I still, I don't know. I was sure, but you still want to be sure because we heard him say that I was trying to get out of it. Where I think we all were trying to get out of, like, and until the Lord speaks to you and say, look, I have ordained this. So you have to know that you heard the voice of the Lord. You have to know that you're going to work it out because it doesn't work itself. You just have to know that you have to lean, depend, and trust on the Lord. And you're not about yourself. If it's all about being selfish, you're not, you won't be able to work that marriage. Yeah. Okay.
Mr. Fashaw: So that again.
Mrs. Fashaw: If it's all about being selfish.
Mr. Fashaw: Yes, selfish, self centered. Yes. Go ahead.
Mrs. Fashaw: And not selfless. Then you will not be able to work the marriage that God has ordained for you.
Mr. Fashaw: Because when you are selfish in your marriage, what happens is you won't bend, you won't give.
And, and what's inside of you, you mean no harm. You mean you're not trying to be harsh and all, but you just, all you see is your point. But you got to understand too, our entire life we've been walking and moving as an individual evolving, coming into, and we always been making decisions for ourselves and we didn't have a partner, but now I can't just make a decision for myself. I have to consider my partner and then I have to make sure that I'm not trying to manipulate my partner to always, you know, be in agreement with me. So how does that work? I guess Shekinah asked that question and we will go closer into that later. Yes it's so important. Now coming to know what should you do? You have to make sure that you are willing to die to self. I'm speaking to believers, I believe here on this platform and maybe believe those who are not believers, they will understand you. You really have to come to a place to where you willing to. Let's say this word that people don't like too much, sacrifice. You have to sacrifice and you have to compromise, something you're going to enjoy and like yourself, for the other person. If you don't do that, you won't make it. Period. Especially in this day in time, this world system is set up take, take, take, not to give but take. So what do I have to do to make sure she's happy as a husband, as the head of the house, the man of the house, I have to make sure she's happy. She's comfortable, and then I have to make sure that I don't take my authority and manipulate. I have to make sure I don't become a sorcerer in my marriage. That's a strong word, but we'll stop it right there.
Shekinah: Yeah. That's good. I've also heard you all say, especially you dad say things like, you have to tell Justin, you have to know how to get honey from a rock. What does that mean?
Mr. Fashaw: What does that mean? That means that the trials you're going to have. The season that you, if you go through the season, you will always state and you will always deal with that rock and you'll never get the honey out of it.
If you don't deal with your season properly. If you don't deal with your trial and your test. The reason the trial comes in your marriage so that you will be able to carry the glory. You will be able to carry the story. You will be able to carry the blessing of God to others, because if you, if you blow it up every chance, every time you turn around, if it's not your way, it has to be your way.
I promise you. You're not going to get that honey. You just getting something that he or she just want to give out of obligation. Now, now it's not passionate. It's not oneness. It's not loving. It's not tender, but it'll all be pretending that you're really happy. Let me share with you like this. Man, I use to boast more than any man on earth about my wife and how crazy she is about me and how much she loves me. One day I had Shekinah and Mel sitting at the table, it was one morning. And the only reason I had that, because there was a dear friend of mine, she's a anointed sister in the Lord and I, when I was working out to Atlantic High School, guess what I meant every day, I would talk about how happy my wife is and how happy we are and how blessed we are. She literally came to me. I can't say what she said, but she did say, 'I'm so tired of you hollerin' about my wife, my wife, my wife is different.' I even had a phone that says my wife, my wife is, my wife is calling you better pick up, pick up, pick up.
Mrs. Fashaw: That was his ringtone.
Mr. Fashaw: That's when the phones started coming out and stuff. I know guys, that's kind of funny and crazy, right. But that's what I had and everybody, and I was just my wife. You know what she said to me one day. You know what? I'm so tired, and you know what? You just, all you heard about how happy your wife is. You don't even know if your wife was happy. I say, I do know my wife is happy. You, I said, demon or something that is talking through you?
I say, what are you talking about? She said, oh, you don't know if your wife is happy. I said, oh, I know my wife was happy. She say, promise me. Promise you what? Promise when you don't go home, sit down and ask your wife face to face and to be totally honest and I asked her, is she happy? And I asked her, I say, honey, I have a sincere question. I just knew what the answer would be.
I say, honey, tell the truth. Aren't you happy? Be honest, please be honest. She
Shekinah: That's not how you were supposed to ask that question. That leading question, aren't you happy not, are you happy?
Go ahead.
Mr. Fashaw: And so when I did that and sent to the table and she looked, we haven't, we was having breakfast and she says like, okay, I'll be honest. Since you want to know. Cause we, we made a decision that we will be honest with that. Now we did do that, but I, I never asked, so I had to say, honey, aren't you happy? She like, she looked, she said, 'no, I'm not happy.' I hit the table. I hit the, I raised my hand. She don't want me to tell this part, but I'm transparent.
I hit the table. Boom. What you mean? You are not happy. I was broken. You were at the table. You was at the table, you know, that's the first time y'all
Listen, you know, it wasn't nothing violent. I was just surprised. It was like, out of stirred excitement. I was like, 'what you mean.' I have, no, this is impossible. What do you mean you're not happy. So. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just not happy. Then, as I say, there's no way. There's no way. What do you mean? What have I done? And all of this and my heart was broken.
And then she was sitting there and she began to explain to me, I said, but you never to say, you never asked. Thank you. She said he never asked. No. Thank you, honey. It's so beautiful. And so you're still kind, of thank you for taking care of me. And so she said, you never ask. I say, what do you mean?
I said, this is unbelievable. I don't believe this. And so guess what happened? After that, I began to revamp and begin to look at things differently and I began to, I didn't know everything. I was always making everything about me and that's what happened. And I went back to the school. Man, I couldn't get to the school fast enough. I'm coming to the door and she come up and she said, yeah, now I want to know, did you ask your wife? I said, yeah. I asked my wife. Well, what did she say? She said, we got to work on some things.
Justin: So more. So it was like moral of the story it's like, you need to really dig deep with your partner, and actually have that conversation and take pride out of your marriage because pride is something that can really bring you down and not really get to the root cause of any issue.
Mr. Fashaw: Pride.
Justin: Right. And I think that's something that we all kind of deal with a little bit of self pride and how we envision things or how we want things to go. And I think that's something that can really take your relationships in the next level.
Mrs. Fashaw: Yeah. And we're two people becoming one. That's what it is. So we're still becoming one, our ways and everything, still becoming one. And what would always stick in the back of my mind is the teachings from the older ladies. The married ladies would say, women, you set the temple of the home. You're happy. The husband is happy. The children are happy. Do you want your children to go through? I don't want my children to go through nothing but peace, joy and righteousness.
And is that, that's where I stood. And the scripture that really stuck out to me always was 1 Peter 3:7, the latter part of it says, 'do nothing that your prayers be hindered.' I did not want to spend hours, days fasting and praying, and my prayers be hindered because when you go to suggest, or you go to speak, give you ideas of whatever it should not come with confrontation, be combatible, you know, you should be able to flow as two people, whether you've been married two months or 20 years, you should be able to flow in a reasonable way and someone not be uncomfortable. It should be a mutual agreement.
Justin: Yeah, I think that's fair.
Mr. Fashaw: With us we didn't come up with, you know, counselors or we didn't go sit with someone and talk. We came, when we came together in ministry, we came together and we would go out and witness and we did things and we just went to what, now we know, at after thirty-five years, if we would have had some counseling, a lot of things we bumped into, we wouldn't have had to, we wouldn't, our marriage could have been a whole lot smoother.
We could have made a lot of decisions that we made, we would not have made. Through it all, let me tell you something. I am getting the honey out of this rock.
Shekinah: Amen.
Mr. Fashaw: You hear me? The honey is flowing and listen, no one can pay me to do this over. There's not enough money on earth. Because what I'm learning and what I have learned by being molded and changed. Holy spirit work with us. And this woman here is wise. Now, if it was someone else. So I know she's the one God gave me. Oh man, there's not another woman on earth that could have married me, but this woman right here.
Justin: So how did you, how do you suggest people go and find this Godly counsel? You know, because you want people to go to someone that has, that they trust, right. And has given them the right information and the right tools, right, to be successful in their marriage or in their engagement. So how do, how does a couple go about finding these people to confide in and help them through these situations? Even if they're, I guess if they're involved with the church or if they're not involved with the church, how do they start getting into that situation?
Mr. Fashaw: Right. The right counsel, you have to do some research. First, you look at your marriage. First, you sit down, you write things of what you would like to come forward in your marriage. And then you look at the values that you stand for in living. And then you begin to look to those who are professional. And then you look for those who God will plant in your life, who may not be a professional, but they have that same type of spirit of what you're searching for. And so then once you do that, I promise you, the greatest teacher you're going to have, and the greatest teacher you will have, Shekinah is the inner person within you. If you would be honest with yourself, within you, that's going to be your greatest teacher.
You have to be honest. You have to know when, okay. I need some help. I need some assistance. I need some deliverance. And you begin to talk with Holy Spirit. Cause He's going to be the first person who begins to guide your heart and talk with you and help you go through the hard times with your spouse.
And a lot of times, if you listen to the Holy Spirit, real good, and you obey Him. A lot of times, you may not even have to get, the only purpose for the coaches for your marriage, it's because you're wanting to do a check point, check mate. And so I would say to you to know your values, know what you like to produce and know what type of marriage, what environment you want to come to when your home.
And so, and always remember this, that the Lord left the responsibility for the wife to build the home. If you live in by scripture, everyone may not live by that.
Shekinah: This is the Truth and Promises Podcasts. So we're encouraging everyone to live by scripture.
Mr. Fashaw: Okay. And so may, as you live by through the scriptures and not the letter, but the spirit of the scriptures, and it teaches us to where, if what you're going to share, if it's not going to bring peace, then you go take it before the Lord and let Him show you how to do it. If what you're going to bring is not going to bring righteousness. You have to take it to the Lord. If it's not going to bring encouragement, et cetera, when you get ready to do something. Now, you know how to, before you make any decisions, pray over it.
Wait patiently trust, trust the Lord to help. And so there's, you know, there's times I will try to demand a question. I mean, I will demand an answer from my wife and she, she literally wouldn't give it to me. I said, no, you got to answer me now. If this is going to work, you got to answer me now. She said, no, I'm not answering.
She said, well, I don't, no. I'll talk to you later because she knew. Guess what she knew? She knew if she answered me now, I wasn't going to enjoy what she had was she responded, I wouldn't enjoy the answer. So she learned to know the moves and swings. So this is what's going to help you, more than anything, and because someone has to be able to surrender for peace, someone has to surrender their point.
You know, it's red. Yeah. But no, it's really dark red. Yeah. That's not red. That's dark red and it's red. It's not red. It's dark red. So what. See whether it turned purple, if it turned yellow, is it going to make a difference? No. So, okay, honey, you say it's dark red. Oh, I can see, I understand what you're saying now.
Okay. It's dark red and you pray about it and you take your time. And why, because you're pursuing peace. But along with pursuing that peace, you leave the door open so that you can come back and say, now I shared that with you and I flow with you so that, I wanted you to see because every time someone comes by here, what they say, they say it's dark red.
Well, what you think it is?
Shekinah: I have a question for couples where one of the spouses does not want to go to counseling. How do you work through that as the spouse who does want to go to counseling, but then your spouse doesn't want to go.
Mr. Fashaw: This is when you have to be wise. Go to the glossery or when you go to the library. The ethics of, of marriage and books, and you start pulling out information and you start pulling out key things that will help your relationship because you know, the temperament of it, you know, the highs and lows of your marriage.
And then you take, if they're not gonna go to counseling, right here in the book, et cetera, and you begin to work with them there and you begin to softly work and begin to get them to see. You know, and, and say, listen, this is not about you, nor me. This is about the greater, then, then you have to get to know step out of whose, cause a lot of times it's like, I have the last word. I'm the one who has the power. And, and my wife used to tell me, she said, yes, you have the power authority and the authority. Yes, you do have that. And so this is why God said for the woman, to build the house. So with your power and your authority, don't be foolish and tear it down.
And so go ahead
Mrs. Fashaw: In a marriage, you need accountability, and if one spouse believes that you need, let's say the lady believes that you, we need counseling. The one thing the Bible says that a husband should honor, the weaker vessel, his wife, he should go to counseling. He should give it a chance because the scripture says, and this is Truth and Promises.
So therefore I know we're talking about someone in The Word, as you say, you know, someone, so he should honor his wife as the weaker vessel, because if he doesn't want to go to counseling, she wants to go, go help her out. She needs the help.
Justin: Just like, I guess, being in a new marriage, right with me and you, it was like some things as a man, you feel like you have pride and like, you feel like, oh, I need to, this is not the way we need to do it, but you really have to take a step back and be like the way I want to do it, is not always the right way, you know?
And there's better ways to get to the pot of honey or the gold, you know, so, and
Mrs. Fashaw: Get the honey out of the rock. And it is not about right. It's about making it a peaceable agreement, a peaceable, keeping the covenant peaceable. I like when apostle taught this teaching. We say that love brings peace. No, peace comes into a marriage.
It's not just the love you need, you need the peace because scripture tells us it's better to be on a rooftop than to be in a home with a nagging woman. So we don't want the women to nag.
Mr. Fashaw: You know, what really deals with the man more than anything? It's not love that a man is so focused on. A man don't focus so strongly on love. Whether you love him a man, focuses on respect. And see in a lot of times people they misplace, they misplace it. Yes. You may love me and all, but do you respect me? A man will go off balance a whole lot easier if he believe he's not having respect, I'm not talking about foolishness I'm not talking about, you know yeah. Yes.
So, the art, the art work of a relationship with a man will always hinge upon respect because a man would know that you love him, but because you can love a man, but if you don't respect him. Forget it. Love is the last subject, now. It's not even a conversation. You're just sitting here smiling. Why are you smiling like that?
Mrs. Fashaw: That's true. You have to respect people.
Mr. Fashaw: You respect one another, but I don't know what that part is in the heart of a man. It's a way that God, this is how God made us in a sense. But then if we don't have a wisdom with it, we can really damage the marriage. Because some men, I won't go there. Yeah.
But some men are not as balanced as lovers. Let's just say that and they can really lose it, you know?
Diamond. Hi, Diamond. Diamond is visiting. She likes what I just said.
Shekinah: Yeah, let me, so I think the last thing, sorry, did you complete your thought? Okay. The last thing I wanted to ask you all, because we're about out of time now. We have some Truths and Promises listeners that are starting a new journey. One that I just want to keep the people calm that, Justin and I are not on yet. And that is the journey of parenting. We are dog parents, but we are not parenting any little human beings and human souls right now. Not yet, but we want to get from you all since you've raised two lovely children, including myself, the favorite, and then my brother. We want to get from you all, you know, one piece of parenting advice. How did you all, I have a lot of people. I had someone come on the podcast that said, I want to know how your parents did what they did with you. So how did what's the secret sauce? How do you
Mr. Fashaw: just before I'm going to make a real quick, I promise, I remember when you came to me and I don't know whether you came to me or not, but some kind of way as well you trying to be a friend to some boy or some boy wanted to be your friend. And this boy wanted to be your friend. I said, I tell you what Shekinah, she said, you're not going to allow me all the others are dating and all you're not, not allow me to date anything. I say, oh, I will allow you to date. And she liked what? I said. Yeah. I said, but after six months of dating Jesus.
Mrs. Fashaw: Was is nine months? No, the six months. Okay.
Mr. Fashaw: After the six months, I said, you give me six months of faithful prayer. Six months of faithful reading The Word. Six months of having a relationship with Jesus, then I will allow you to see whoever you want to see. And so one of the things I did with you, I made it exciting. I say, it's going to be fun. I say, you just have to date Jesus. And I say, if you will honestly date Jesus, that's one of the things that I would advise every parent when their children come to them. And they're trying to see someone, they have to show faithfulness and commitment to Christ before you release them to any young lady, any young man. Man, that's exciting.
Mrs. Fashaw: That was about age sixteen, right?
Mr. Fashaw: Yes.
Mrs. Fashaw: I say my parenting advice comes a lot younger than that. It comes at preschool stages. When your child as Shekinah was and still is very obedient and she began to fast and pray at age 4. When I took out one of the prominent schools in the Del Ray area to bring her back to my school, which was also prominent.
She began to go to noon day prayer and I would fix breakfast and lunch. Don't fix me. Don't give me any breakfast, mommy. I'm going to eat after prayer with Aunt Sabrina. She fast every day to afternoon day prayer. I said, okay, I'll put a little extra in there just in case she said you don't have to. You can do it, but you don't have to. So she began two weeks, the whole time from the Thanksgiving break to Christmas break, to fast and pray Monday through Friday, a Monday through Thursday for the noontime prayer. When she goes sit with on Sabrina and color and wait to go to noon day prayer while I would go to work.
So I believe that training came in and it was instilled in behavior and that sort of thing was instilled into her. And without with our son, he at a young age was a good listener. Hallelujah. A very good listener, at that time. So when we began to train our children up at a young age and we, we will know who's going to be obedient and who's not going to be obedient we're going to know who's going to stay up to 1:00 AM and do homework, and who's going to do whatever they do and put it aside and watch TV.
Mr. Fashaw: Have fun with your children. I will tell them, have fun with them, but make sure you give them a spiritual life. A spiritual life it's not religion, but relationship. It wasn't where we can say, oh, you got to be in church. You got to do this. But we made sure they have a spiritual life. You got to give it to them on a spiritual life for Truth and Promises. spend that quality time. Make sure it's real. And it's gonna work out. God will work with you.
Mrs. Fashaw: The Lord works with you and just, just know that each child is different. Build on your child's strength, know that you gave them a name. A name is greater than rubies. The Word of God says far above precious rubies and goals. So you gave them a name, remember the child's name and call your child nothing but the name that you have given them.
Mr. Fashaw: Wow.
Shekinah: Well, this has been a really fun time with you all. Hopefully the next time we get to do From The Walters' Couch, maybe we'll actually be in Florida on your couch instead.
No, we can not do that, but we can find you a better couch than the one you currently have. I will say usually at this point I ask the folks that I'm talking to to share how folks can stay in touch with you. But because I probably know it better than y'all do. I'll say you can find Gregory and Stephanie Fashaw on Facebook at Gregory Stephanie Fashaw okay. It's one Facebook. They are taking being one to a whole nother level was one Facebook page, for the both of them.
So when you see them comment, y'all, you never know if his mama or daddy commenting, you can maybe catch on based on the words that are used or the emojis or whatever it might be, but it's a fun game sometimes they're trying to figure out who's posting. You all can also connect with them through His Touch Restoration Training Center.
You can go over to HisTouchRTC.org. And as always, I'm so happy that y'all could take a listen to the Truths and Promises podcast today. If you want to connect with me or 1140 Glory, then go on over to eleven40glory.com. There, you can find the show notes under our blog, sign up for our Thank God it's Monday email list or join our own your journey Facebook group.
And of course, if this episode of From The Walters' Couch has blessed you in any way, or if you have topics that you want to hear discussed right here on the podcast, then let us know in the comment section of the blog. And last but not least, please be sure to share, share, share this with at least one friend and one family member.
I hope that y'all are blessed and we will chat next time.
Mrs. Fashaw: Glory to God.
Shekinah: Everybody say bye.
Mrs. Fashaw: Shalom, everyone..
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